2022

Growth - Jan 19

Per TED talk by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks:

 It is the people who are NOT like us who help us grow.

 The affiliations of people on Facebook, etc are stifling. 

 We worship the "self" in our current society.

Time - Feb 25

I have this strange and probably wistful sensation - which could not be proven - that past time, and events, still exist.  Somewhere in another plane, dimension or other sense, it happened and is AN existence.  Undoubtedly, just a delusion...but feels like it should be.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep - March 7

Now I lay me down to sleep.  I pray the lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take.

A little childhood prayer I recited for years before shutting my eyes.  A Catholic recitation, I'm sure. 

Though I've long since given up on the religious messaging, I find myself reflecting again on the implications of the prayer; that I might not wake up one of these mornings.   As the number of years passed has grown, the odds of that happening increase…….

_____

I used to focus on money (and still do as much as I need to), but find myself more focused on the value and conservation of my health and time; two of the most valuable things I've taken for granted - like most people.   Both are at more risk…….

Sitting In A Bar - March 19

In Roanoke, VA, but it could be anywhere, listening to gaggles of girls downing shots of hard liquor and cackling frivolously and then cavorting with guys with the obligatory caps and scruffy beards and who, even in youth, sport pot bellies…..it’s depressing and discouraging to watch.  The shallowness, but more tragically, the lack of pushing the envelope, of ambition or discipline.  

That is the issue - in my snobbishness- that I find the most fault with…. The laziness in trying to see and achieve anything more.

I know there are insightful ambitious young people at universities and in cities around the country - some of whom are, thankfully, my sons.  But it’s a tragedy to watch…..

Cutting Connections - August 28

Tired of trying and not getting reciprocated

Tired of being talked at and not talked to

Tired of listening to thoughtless babble and deluded opinions

Tired of listening to people talk about themselves

Tired of listening to parroting of memes, cliches and canned herd mentality.

Tired of listening to uneducated people who don’t make the effort to stay informed -  not because they’re stupid - but because they’re lazy!

What Am I Missing - Dec 4

What am I missing?  There is this nagging sense that some kind of awareness - maybe spiritual - has been beyond my grasp.   I'm surely not alone.   Most of us go through our lives stuck in the circuitry of our inner selves with its appetites, obsessions, and preconceptions; responding to social cues and following patterns that seem to gloss over and obscure some deeper revelations.  I'm reluctant to use the word 'meaning', because that's very subjective.   But our days become so mechanical; regimented and consumed by obligations and petty concerns.  Normally, this would sound like the wistful reflections of an older man - and they are.  But I've felt this for years.  Even as a young man.  It's why I was drawn to philosophy as a student and wanted to continue the search.  But life got in the way.   Work, schedules, kids, routines, duties and the emotional drains of day-to-day trials.

I'm not alone.  Reflection on our place and the search for inner peace is as old as time.  And it's still a search for many.   It's obviously an answer that is very personal.  For my part, the 'myth' of religion doesn't begin to answer it.   It is multi-faceted.   Partly defined by our being subject to the river of time as it slips away from our grasp.  Partly the perception of our reality - the nature and nurture in how we understand ourselves and time.  It's partly our need to find significance as the 'heroes of our story' and value others and our time.   And partly it's just objective physics.  What are we in the scheme of the universe? 

I'm still compelled to continue this search and return to thoughts and theories that I studied years ago.  I don't expect to find any real answers…..but maybe some reconciliation in a way.

To be continued……

To Be Hijacked - Gratefully - December 4

I am the perpetual captive of a spouse who insists on doing things.  We no sooner complete one excursion when she's planning the next; whether it's a trip to another city or an event across town.  She is constantly on the lookout for adventure.   I'm not complaining as such.  If left to my own devices I'd grow roots in my comfy chair and stare at a screen.  So, the majority of the time I'm grateful for her schemes….even if I was 

initially reluctant.   For her part, she respects my need for solitude and puttering -- so we strike a congenial balance.

Trips……Roanoke, New York, Chicago, CP, Charleston…..

Performance Anxiety - December 22

A little bit of stress can help performance, but a lot of stress—the amount you might feel during an important competition or, if you’re me, just on a slightly difficult trail—hijacks the brain’s frontal lobe, which is where planning takes place. “Once your frontal lobe is taken over by stress, you have no more capacity for anything else,” says Lisa Son, a psychologist at Barnard College. “You’re probably less likely to focus on how you’re going to move your skis and how you’re going to move your body and your poles.” Or, as in my case, you might not be able to move at all.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/03/adult-new-hobbies/627099/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=atlantic-daily-newsletter&utm_content=20221220&utm_term=The%20Atlantic%20Daily